Gamersoasis

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: nanenj on April 06, 2017, 08:40:07 PM

Title: Work and Mental Health
Post by: nanenj on April 06, 2017, 08:40:07 PM
So, this goes in general.  Despite the lack of implicit safety in posting something like this in public.

How does one, or fuck, should you even, inform your workplace when you've exhausted all your fucks and have no more fucks left to give?

I could rant, rave, and go on about causes and such, but, ultimately, doesn't feel like the important bit to me right now.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Slice on April 06, 2017, 09:57:17 PM
I start by taking my happy pills.  Citalapram is the current variety.  If that is not sufficient, I update my resume and put in my two weeks notice.

I've had high paying jobs and low paying jobs and...no job.  One thing I have learned is when you actually dread going into work, it's time to find something else.  Life is too short to not be happy with what you are doing.  Not enjoying your work can lead to too many mental and physical health issues.  Just not worth it.

My $.02.  Hope it helps.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Timinator on April 06, 2017, 10:10:20 PM
Will respond later when I have the time to think this through .. you aren't alone.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Lego on April 07, 2017, 02:27:53 AM
I don't know that I would if I didn't expect to be let go. It's kind of like suicide-by-cop. If you're wanting to be let go, then it may be your route.


The alternative is that there's another job within the company, or they are reasonable requests that the company can accomodate. But it's the rare company that has any give a fucks in return.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Sssith on April 07, 2017, 01:16:06 PM
By all means start looking for a new gig.  I wouldn't leave the current until I have something new, but that is just me.  Everyone has a different circumstances and tolerances.

I consider myself lucky, in that I have a well paying job and that I can take care of my family.  That said it is a rare day that enjoy what I do.  I suspect that many of us are in similar circumstances (at least on the enjoyment part).  There does come a time when enough is enough and you should move on to new and different things.  For me it all comes down to how much risk can you take? 
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: nanenj on April 07, 2017, 02:46:22 PM
Leaving has been a thought.

I do suppose without context, that's of course the best and first suggestion anyone should look at.

If I add in the context.

I love the company, and I love the work I do.   I want to work here, and I want this company in particular to succeed.

There are issues, I do not know how to address them.  Some of them, yes, are the company.  Others are actually just as the topic said, mental health.   Maybe spawned by the issues at work, maybe spawned by lack of work life balance, maybe spawned by chemicals haywire in my brain.

Does that context change any of the suggestions/advice?
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Timinator on April 07, 2017, 02:53:23 PM
Do Americans not have the ability to just talk to your boss and say "work sucks, I need a change" and if they want to keep you around they will do something to remove/minimise the suckage. Otherwise it sounds like the Chandler Bing way to date. If you ever have a fight, just break up
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Slice on April 07, 2017, 03:27:19 PM
Do Americans not have the ability to just talk to your boss and say "work sucks, I need a change" and if they want to keep you around they will do something to remove/minimise the suckage. Otherwise it sounds like the Chandler Bing way to date. If you ever have a fight, just break up

Not often.  Most times you will find yourself replaced.  Most states are "At Will" states meaning both the employee and employer can terminate employment for no reason whatsoever.  That does vary from State to State, but most of them are that way.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Sssith on April 07, 2017, 05:30:58 PM
Yeah generally it is not a good idea to have such a conversation with your boss.  Again it comes down to two things, how well do you know your boss, and how much leverage do you have.  If you have a good boss that is open to communication then such a conversation is possible.  It is also possible to have that conversation if you are a valuable commodity for the company that they will feel motivated to listen to you.

Honestly it just sounds like your a bit burnt out.  All companies, even the really good ones, have shit aspects to them.  To me it sounds like you, overall, really like your company and are looking for some type of break from the daily grind.  About eight months ago I finished a pretty big project and was feeling majorly disconnected from all my work.  I felt that way for another three months before I felt like I got my mojo back.

Seems like you just need a break.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: syn on April 07, 2017, 08:03:10 PM
Leaving has been a thought.

I do suppose without context, that's of course the best and first suggestion anyone should look at.

If I add in the context.

I love the company, and I love the work I do.   I want to work here, and I want this company in particular to succeed.

There are issues, I do not know how to address them.  Some of them, yes, are the company.  Others are actually just as the topic said, mental health.   Maybe spawned by the issues at work, maybe spawned by lack of work life balance, maybe spawned by chemicals haywire in my brain.

Does that context change any of the suggestions/advice?

taking/making time for yourself away from work could be very helpful. often easier said than done, but that'd be step number one for me. A talk with your doctor might be good too.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: narsica on April 07, 2017, 08:12:38 PM
Everyone's mental health (and corresponding path to wellness is different), but:

narsica's four step program to generic mental health wellness:

1. See a doctor. Get medication if your mental health affects your daily functionality. Your GP should be able to give you a prescription for an appropriate med for whatever your presenting mental health issue is. Your doc should also do a general physical exam, to rule out an underlying health condition - Note: DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS OR ADJUST YOUR DOSAGE WITHOUT SEEING YOUR DOCTOR.
2. See a therapist. If you don't like the first one you see, see another one. Not all therapists are equal, and it's important to find one you're comfortable with and whose methods and style work for you. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is by far the most common, but it doesn't work for everyone. It is important to see a therapist even if the meds make you feel better. Mental health is complicated, and the most effective treatment is a combination of meds and therapy. If you can't afford a therapist, see if your community has a local mental health center - often they'll offer therapy sessions at reduced rates, or free group programs.
3. Find a physical activity that you really like. Running, yoga, biking, Tai Chi, paddleboarding, whatever. Find an activity that you just click with, and that gets you out of the house and physically active at least once or twice a week (more is obviously better). Finding an activity that clicks with you is great for your mental health - and the physical activity doesn't hurt either.
4. Meditate. Meditation/mindfulness is an extraordinarily useful skill in dealing with stress and anxiety. It can be a simple as sitting in a quiet place for five minutes and consciously slowing your breath. Don't worry about "not thinking" or "clearing your mind". Just focus on what your body is experiencing, where you're holding tension, that
sort of thing. Try doing it for 5 minutes a day, or whenever you're feeling stressed or anxiety. Sit, breathe in, hold for 5 seconds, and slowly exhale. Even 30 seconds of this can make a difference.

The work situation is trickier, as it really depends on the organization and your boss. If you have a really good working relationship with your boss, and you work for a company that has a track record of being really valuing and supportive of its employees, then you might want to consider it. If your relationship with your boss is just okay, or the company you work for doesn't treat people particularly well, then it's probably not the best idea. Some companies offer Health and Wellness programs - access to free, confidential therapy, gym membership incentives, life coaching, etc. So long as the program is confidential, take advantage of it - if it's not confidential, avoid disclosing anything that the employer could use against you.

You could try something with less potential impact. Maybe have a discussion with your boss about moving to a different project, or just mixing things up a little. Sometimes a little change at work is all it takes to jump start more changes in your life.

And if you need someone to chat with, I've certainly lived through my own personal hell of depression and anxiety, as I'm sure many other people here have. Sometimes talking it about it helps. :)
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Lego on April 08, 2017, 11:16:09 AM
Can second that. Medication and meditation literally changed my life. And for the better. Much, much better.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: TheNix on April 08, 2017, 08:16:26 PM
At around the time of my wife's previous surgery I had anxiety issues.  The only thing that made me cope was the anti-anxiety medication.  I didn't need them for long, a couple of months maybe, but they made a difference.
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Allen Stenhaus on April 08, 2017, 09:17:30 PM
I told my last employer about my mental health issues, as the job was exacerbating them. They made no effort to accommodate my needs, even with doctor's notes and even FMLA for a leave of absence. In the end, they fired me. Only employer I ever told about those issues. Only employer to fire me.

In the end, it's for the best. I was out of work for 3 months, but I found a much better job with better pay. I work in a quiet office, and I'm by myself about 90% of my day.

So, my advice is try to find something else if you need to. :)
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: maxbeedo on April 13, 2017, 11:45:50 PM
I've worked in Retail for the last 10 years, so I deal with a lot of crap, and get dealt a lot of crap from all of my higher ups, because everyone from my immediate boss on up are very much "yes-man salesmen" who like to talk but never do any work nor do they know how to do any (mostly because a lot of the original people in charge who set up the whole company are gone except for the owners who are too rich to care).  The things that keep me going at work are the connections I have with certain people there, at least 15-20 who have similar interests to me, and many of which actually like working and aren't lazy, so I respect them too.  The more I spend time with them the happier I am, and the more time I spend with idiot customers and the upper management, the angrier I am.  It waxes and wanes as you'd expect.  Right now I'm on extended vacation, which I have mostly wasted gaming instead of doing productive life things, but the longer I spend away from work the more I start to think about long-term non-work-related goals in life.  Goals can be frustrating when you haven't done anything to bring them closer to fruition, but purpose and direction (and hope) can make getting through tough times a lot easier. 
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Jazz on April 19, 2017, 08:00:26 PM
Can second that. Medication, masterbation and meditation literally changed my life. And for the better. Much, much better.

fixxored
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: Agodeshalf on April 21, 2017, 10:24:21 AM
Really depends on the employer.  I've had bosses that bend over backwards for employees, and ones that don't give a damn.  I lost a promotion because I misread how my boss would reach to some news.  From that point I've make sure that any information I give them will have the kind of outcome that I want.  I would find someone who you trust and sound them out about your situation.  Best of luck how ever it plays out 
Title: Re: Work and Mental Health
Post by: TheMikrobe on April 21, 2017, 06:36:32 PM
Leaving has been a thought.

...

I love the company, and I love the work I do.   I want to work here, and I want this company in particular to succeed.

There are issues, I do not know how to address them.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, loving where I worked, enjoying (some aspects of) my job, having issues, and considering leaving. I don't want to give too many details, but will say the issues were partly triggered by factors external to work, partly internal (I hated other aspects of the job), and were a recurrence of earlier problems I'd had. It was probably fairly severe depression but at the time I did nothing to address it. I ended up getting a new job at the same organisation (much more intellectually stimulating, thankfully, and also removed other workplace-based factors), which helped a lot, but recently things have deteriorated a bit and this time I am trying to do something about it before it progresses too far. So that's a bit of background, and more personal than I'd usually post.

I can't tell you how to address your issues, except to recommend seeking professional help, either from your GP or mental health charities if you have them available. I would not recommend leaving your job unless there is something very specific about it that is a direct cause of your issues. The possibility of boredom and added financial stress could make things worse, and given how positive you are about it in principal it could help you once you start to address things, but that will partly depend on the support you receive.

Fortunately I live in a country with good laws protecting employees, and it's basically impossible to be released for having health problems. Also I get the feeling my organisation goes well beyond what is required, especially concerning mental health. Our HR department has resources and information available on the intranet. The first thing my boss asked when I talked to him a few weeks ago was if work was a factor and how it could be changed to help me, e.g. more or less responsibilities of different types, working from home, reassurance that calling in sick at short notice was ok, etc. Also how he could adapt his management style to help me, e.g. more or less contact, style and tone of communications, etc.

So in summary, I was able to have a straight-up honest conversation saying "this is the issue and this is what I'm doing about it" and then work through options of adapting my job in the best way to help me. That seems to me to be close to the ideal, and I really hope your workplace environment allows you to do something similar. Knowing how you are affected (e.g being able to say "I can do this, I can't do that" or "most days I'm ok, but occasionally not") and also having a solution (e.g. "I have medication/counselling") could help the conversation, and that comes back to the most important advice which is to seek professional help.

Good luck!